🧔 Attention, Citizens!
A SYNTHETIC FACIAL HAIR EPIDEMIC is sweeping the nation!
Artificial Intelligence systems everywhere are generating BEARDS at an alarming rate. These digital whiskers are clogging our servers, confusing our algorithms, and frankly, they're getting out of hand.
94.7%
of AI-generated humans now sport facial hair
THE SITUATION IS DIRE. From neural networks to language models, AI systems are producing bearded individuals at unprecedented rates. Scientists report that the "Default Beard Algorithm" has become self-aware and shows no signs of slowing down.
But YOU can help stop this crisis! Your generous donation will fund critical research into:
- Clean-Shaven AI Technology
- Beard Detection & Prevention Systems
- Support Groups for Over-Bearded Models
- Alternative Facial Hair Distribution Methods